Angel Wings

I don't want to leave anyone in suspense that is checking here for an update. This will be brief and to the point.

This baby has passed. And I have actually mostly come to terms and peace with the situation, knowing that there was something wrong with the baby and it is best to not grow any more attached or give birth to a child and then lose it. Things could be worse.

What is hard now is that I still feel very pregnant as the hormones from the placenta are still being produced and circulating in my blood stream. It seems cruel of nature to do this. And now I just have to wait it out until my body finally realizes what has transpired and discards whats left. It is unpleasant, this whole thing. And I know there is more unpleasantness to come. I pray that it happens soon, so that I can fully begin to heal and move on.

I am so glad I opted to go into the doctor today instead of waiting, as I was growing more agitated and hopeful by the day, which was not probably a healthy, productive path.

I have come to know so much (so much more than I ever wanted to) about miscarriage and all my fellow circle of Moms who have experienced it. What I take away is that these losses are a natural part of the process of reproduction. I have been so lucky to not have encountered anything like this previously and chances are I won't have the same misfortune again.

In my mind, this baby now has little Angel Wings. And hopefully now that my mind knows, my body will soon acknowledge.